Sports, sports, sports..?

The sheer look of disappointment that grew on my face as I watched Sydney Sweeney’s newest “sports” ad was unlike one I ever experienced before. I already avoid every Sydney Sweeney post as I have no idea how she turned into Cassie after starring in roles like The Handmaid's Tale. I was dumbfounded. Personally, I don't find that repeating the word “sports” and sexualizing the equipment makes you hot, it makes you out of touch with every bit of reality that's ever been right in front of your face.

There's not a single day where women in sports get a break. There is a constant battle, whether it's on the court, on the field, on the ice or in a gym, every female athlete not only has to work for their position but also fight to be seen and it starts when we’re young.

I started playing softball at the age of six and played all the way until I was 18. At age eight I was already having to stick up for myself on the playground when the boys felt that they were faster and stronger (they never were). Me and my girl friends were pretty much all athletes. A few played soccer, others played softball, some did both, I had friends that did karate and gymnastics- in short terms we all knew ball and we did it all. Tetherball, foursquare, football, running and soccer when the stampede of boys would let us have a ball, we ran that recess. It was effortless for us while the boys were putting in every ounce of effort they could to not even impress anyone but to one up each other. That was always their motive, the male mind knows nothing but stats. There was a science project I did one year researching if baseball was “harder” than softball because I was so sick and tired of the game I loved being put down. The conclusion was that softball was actually slightly faster paced due to the size of the fields and distance of the bases being much closer. Your reaction time becomes quicker if not, equivalent than if it were shown on a baseball field. The evidence and the research was right there and I'd still get told that a big yellow ball is nothing compared to a two inch baseball. That was a conversation that would be brought up my entire life. I wonder why they stood up so hard for such a small ball, it really makes you wonder.

On top of already having to stand up for me and my sport, can you guess how many female head coaches I had during my 13 years of playing? Two female coaches. For a women's sport. Half of my life I dedicated my performance to men. Men who had no grasp of the female mind and body. The biggest issue with that is, without that basic information or understanding there's no way for the athlete to thrive. You can not coach a woman the same way you coach a man. There was one male coach I had who understood that. I remember during a team meeting one time he said “women need to look good and feel good to play good”. There's a lot that comes with that then just doing game day makeup and finding the right ribbon to wear. It means it starts mentally. Women prepare themselves in countless ways, the pre-pregame is probably the most important. I honestly thought of it as an art form. The tucking in of the jersey, smoothing out all the places it bunched up, choosing the right visor to match, seeing if there was a themed ribbon to wear, braiding my hair and probably at least two other girls' hair. Waking up and getting ready like this all went into the game. We looked good, we were uniform and put together, we felt good. The important thing that male coach did was praise us. He continued to build us up so that confidence stayed.  Dr. Meghan Fruth, a clinical psychologist from Nebraska medicine, stated she notices perfectionism to be at an all time high when working with female athletes, "There's almost a need to outwork men and compensate for the fact that there's lower pay and fewer opportunities for women.” Girls have 1.3 million fewer opportunities to play high school sports, even less opportunities as you grow and the hundreds of unrepresented regions. As I said before, this is a constant battle. By the age of 14, girls drop out of sports twice as fast as boys do, for several reasons, some being a lack of investment or social expectations, even the fear of appearing unfeminine. A majority of male coaches have no idea this even goes on. How could they when they've never experienced it? My question is, why isn't it prioritized when your team is full of women? 

I remember another coach of mine. I remember a specific conversation with him because of how he looked at me. I had taken a mental health break due to many reasons, my outside world felt heavy and usually my time on the field was always therapeutic but it started weighing on me soon enough. I noticed I was hardly receiving recognition, the only time I did was for something I did wrong. It wasn't just me I saw this with either, I had noticed it with other girls. When I had returned from my break, that pattern had continued. It got to the point where I truly just wanted to give up, so I had a conversation with him after practice one night. I expressed to him how I had felt and what I had seen, favoritism, a lack of support and he just stared at me. His arms were crossed while he resisted his head at an angle on his fist, he squinted his eyes at me the entire time I spoke, looking confused. As I concluded expressing my feelings, the first thing he said to me was “Then why did you come back?”